The mental load of money

Before you even had your first cup of coffee this morning, you had probably made financial decisions without even noticing them. Has the power bill payment gone out of the account? Do the kids need money for their school trips this week? How much are we going to need to spend at the supermarket?

The mental load of money is something we don’t often talk about, but it’s something lots of us carry, and it can be a drain on our time and energy. The good news is, there may be some fairly simple tweaks you can make to help ease the pressure a bit.

It's not just the bills - it's the thinking about the bills

For lots of people, the financial mental load is just a quiet conversation that hums in the back of your mind all the time, making you hesitate before you swipe your card at the café or book your car in for its warrant of fitness.

Sometimes it can be practical, making sure that payments are loaded on the day that they need to go, that loans are structured appropriately, and that the family is on track for financial goals. Other times it might be just making sure that you’ve got enough for the essentials, which have steadily increased in price for many New Zealand households in recent years. If you’re feeling this squeeze, you’re not alone. Many households have been under pressure.

Even if it’s not financial “stress”, the constant nag of the mental load can divert your time and attention from other things, and can eventually start to get tiring.

When one person carries most of it

It’s often the case that in a household of two adults, one person ends up picking up more of the mental load than the other. This can happen slowly over time - maybe you’re more comfortable with finances, so you pick up the conversations with the bank. Maybe you’re better with numbers, so you become the one who keeps an eye on the budget.

You might think this is just another division of labour, the sort that goes on in households all the time all over the country. But sometimes the load gets bigger bit by bit without anyone noticing or acknowledging it, until you get a chance to confront it head on.

Why avoiding it often makes it heavier

If you’ve ever seen a bill arrive in your inbox and decided you’ll worry about it later, you’ll know that, as with many things in life, ignoring your mental money load won’t make it go away. The good news is, though, that small steps can sometimes have a big impact and it might not be as difficult as you expect to start to get it under control.

The difference between coping and feeling in control

From the outside, you might not think you even have a money mental loan to worry about. You’re buying your groceries, keeping on top of your loan repayments and your kids have what they need. But there’s a difference between coping and being in control. How many tabs have you got open in your mind to keep on top of your finances?

When you can switch to feel more empowered about your money life, you may be surprised at the options that might become available to you. They could be financial, if you’re able to free up some space in your budget to spend money on the things you’d rather be paying for. Or they could also be non-financial, such as more time to spend with your friends or family.

What lighter can look like

What might it look like if you could set some of that mental load down? You could check your bank account with a tug of worry in your stomach as your log in. You might know that someone else is also keeping track of the payments going out, and helping you make sure that the money is where it needs to be.

Shedding a bit of the load could mean putting in place some structures that handle the admin for you, or sharing some of it with a partner or family members. Perhaps you reorganise your finances a bit to take the pressure off.

Could you imagine a future weekend where you’re not worrying about the finances for the week ahead, but instead doing something that replenishes your spirit? You’ve probably got your financial literacy sorted, but maybe it’s now time to think about your financial wellbeing.

If your mental load is starting to feel a bit heavy, and the financial juggle is a bit difficult, it could be worth exploring whether you can make a change. We’re lending experts and can answer any questions you may have. 

Disclaimer: Please note that the content provided in this article is intended as an overview and as general information only. While care is taken to ensure accuracy and reliability, the information provided is subject to continuous change and may not reflect current developments or address your situation. Before making any decisions based on the information provided in this article, please use your discretion and seek independent guidance.